Monday, April 12, 2010

How Do You Know?

     On April 8th, my wife and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary.  10 years!  10 years!!  I've never committed to anything for 10 years in my life, which brings me to the point of today's post. 

     How do you know when you have found "The One?"  Now, I'm no expert on marriage and I don't have a degree in family psychology, but the following is a list of observations and life experiences that I have compiled over the past decade that could just answer that age old question. 

     When I first started seriously dating "The Boss" we had a conversation that went a something like this.  (Me) If we are going to be together, you need to be OK with the fact that I am sometimes and probably more often that you'd like, going to fart. (The Boss) OK good, me too, I'm glad we cleared that up from the start. 

     (Me)  I know that you will still find other men attractive as will I still find other women attractive, but you can trust that when I am with you, I am only with you.  (The Boss)  OK good, I'm glad there wont be any jealousy to ruin what we have here and trust is the main ingredient to our being together.  Hey, look at that girl over there, I bet you think she's hot.  (Me)  This relationship is going to work out just fine.

     As the years rolled on and our marriage fell into its routine of being parents first, lovers a very close neck and neck second, and everything else a distant third.  We began to develop our own language, some of it not much less primitive than tribal clicks and vibratos but one that we and only we understand.  In a social setting we can have a conversation from across the room without ever saying a word.  A flicker of the eye, a quick and unnoticed by anyone else hand gesture and we are immediately on the same page.

     Just recently we had a conversation that I will share with you here at the risk of losing some of my followers with sensitive stomachs.

     I got home the other day to find her just hangin' on the couch and biting her finger nails.  Without noticing that I was watching her, she lobbed a piece of fingernail behind her head between the couch and the wall. 

     (The Boss)  I just tossed my fingernail behind the couch.  (Me)  Oh My God!  I do the same thing.  (The Boss)  Sometimes I flick my boogers back there too.  (Me)  Oh shit!  Me too!  (The Boss)  There aint nothin' back there but boogers and fingernails.  (Me) Good thing I just bought that 5 horsepower 12 gallon shop vac at Home Depot because I don't think the Oreck could handle a job like that.  We must have laughed for 10 minutes before we agreed that something must be done about this.  (Me)  I'll take care of it. 

     Wanting her to be the first person I talk to in the morning and the last person I talk to before I lay my head to rest.  Knowing that no matter how bad a day I might have had at work she can make me smile when I get home.  Knowing that whether or not I get the things around the house that need to be done done, she will still love me.  Knowing that we both love our daughters more than anything in the world.  Knowing that when we get burned out on real life, Fred will always have margaritas for us down in San Diego to help us ecape.  And knowing that no one else can ever make me feel as good as I do right now, is how I know that I have found the one.  I love you babe.  Happy Anniversary.  I only hope that you will let me stick around for another 10 years.