A few days ago I started the P90X program and I am in a world of hurt. For those of you who don't know what P90X is all about, I will tell you. It's a fitness program equipped with a full menu of real foods that you can actually make and enjoy, (I haven't really paid attention to the nutrition part of it yet) and for 90 days this guy on the videos (12 to be more precise) kicks the living shit out of you from head to toe. I have been doing it though, and I wont say that I have been eating all heathy foods, but I can say that I am mindful of what I am eating.
Last night when I got home from work, I had it all planned out. I was going to run upstairs, kiss the girls goodnight, check in with Anderson Cooper on CNN to make sure that the world was just as fouled up as it was before I had left for work 9 hours earlier. After that I was going to kill myself with a little Ab Ripper X. So this is what I did, upstairs I went, girls were all kissed and tucked in for the night, AC confirmed that the world was indeed as jacked up as I had left it, thanks for the update, AC. But then something went terribly wrong. As I went to reach for the DVD, I mistakenly reached for a mini deep dish frozen pizza. And instead of putting the DVD in the DVD player, I put the mini deep dish pizza in the mini deep dish pizza cooker (microwave). "What the Hell am I doing?" I think I actually asked myself out loud. I answered myself in a tone that scared even the new tougher, more muscular, but sore as all can be and in no mood for any physical altercations, me. "Shut up fat boy and just eat the damn pizza." Who am I to argue?
The pizza was delicious, I'm not going to lie to you. The stench of guilt was heavy in the air, almost as strong as the smell of once frozen but now sizzling pepperoni. I burned the roof of my mouth on the melted cheese and while the pain was intense, I was no slave to it. No sir, I was much too busy enjoying the flavor and the feeling of getting away with something evil while no one was looking.
My delicious failure was a setback, I have to admit, but I'm back on track today. I hate you P90X, I really really hate you.