Friday, January 29, 2010

P90X or Pizza?

     All of a sudden, The Boss is very serious about our new fitness competition.  If I have a partner and a goal, I go all out and can be focused like no other, or so I thought.

     A few days ago I started the P90X program and I am in a world of hurt.  For those of you who don't know what P90X is all about, I will tell you.  It's a fitness program equipped with a full menu of real foods that you can actually make and enjoy, (I haven't really paid attention to the nutrition part of it yet)  and for 90 days this guy on the videos (12 to be more precise) kicks the living shit out of you from head to toe.  I have been doing it though, and I wont say that I have been eating all heathy foods, but I can say that I am mindful of what I am eating. 

     Last night when I got home from work, I had it all planned out.  I was going to run upstairs, kiss the girls goodnight, check in with Anderson Cooper on CNN to make sure that the world was just as fouled up as it was before I had left for work 9 hours earlier. After that I was going to kill myself with a little Ab Ripper X.  So this is what I did, upstairs I went, girls were all kissed and tucked in for the night, AC confirmed that the world was indeed as jacked up as I had left it, thanks for the update, AC. But then something went terribly wrong.  As I went to reach for the DVD, I mistakenly reached for a mini deep dish frozen pizza.  And instead of putting the DVD in the DVD player, I put the mini deep dish pizza in the mini deep dish pizza cooker (microwave).  "What the Hell am I doing?"  I think I actually asked myself out loud.  I answered myself in a tone that scared even the new tougher, more muscular, but sore as all can be and in no mood for any physical altercations, me.  "Shut up fat boy and just eat the damn pizza."  Who am I to argue?  

     The pizza was delicious, I'm not going to lie to you.  The stench of guilt was heavy in the air, almost as strong as the smell of once frozen but now sizzling pepperoni.  I burned the roof of my mouth on the melted cheese and while the pain was intense, I was no slave to it.  No sir, I was much too busy enjoying the flavor and the feeling of getting away with something evil while no one was looking.  

     My delicious failure was a setback, I have to admit, but I'm back on track today.  I hate you P90X, I really really hate you.       



  1. Back on track, my boy, back on track.
    Love you, mean it
    ~Mom~ :)

  2. Ha!
    The stench of guilt heavy in the air...

    I've not tried P90X, but know some people who swear by it. THEY do it at 5am. Thenthey run marathons.
    I hate them.

    Pass the grated cheese please....

  3. Hey, it's not a mistake--you've now won three times! Congrats; I gave you the One-Minute Writing of the Day award for 1/18.
    -C. Beth

  4. Sounds like torture. I'm not of the school "No pain, no gain". We'll expect six-pack photos!

  5. Nancy: I do nothing at 5AM nor will I ever run a marathon. Your friends are warriors.

    C. Beth: Thank you very much for the award. I will post it in my trophy room next to the others. Your blog is so much fun.

    Stephanie: As soon as the 6 pack arrives I will post the pics. It might be a while though so keep breathing while you wait. 8)

  6. I used to do this at 5am, but wouldn't run except to save my life.

    That said, here it is a year later and I'm back to pudgy. ;) P90x is great when you've got to look amazing for something (wedding, reunion) but awfully hard to keep doing for real life. Enjoy the pizza.

  7. Two of my friends (married to each other) did this P90x thing. She lasted for quite a few months. She would come hobbling in to work like she had been beaten in the streets. Her legs, abs, arms, butt...everything in a world of hurt. She looked great in spite of her limp. Her husband is still going strong. He looks an iron stallion of sorts. I found it all to be entertaining. I just kicked back with my Dunkin' Donuts and watched this contest unfold.
    I hope you can attain stallion status as well :) I'll eat a chocolate glazed creation with you in mind.

  8. You're a funny one Toni. I am not depriving myself of any chocolate glazed creations. I am just not eating them by the metric sh*t ton like I used to. But thanks for keeping me in mind. 8)

  9. Who put that pizza so close to the DVD player? LOL! Maybe you should have gone to bed after putting the girls to bed. Sounds like you were sleepwalking!

    Stay focused and stay on track or find the money for that gorgeous ring!

  10. Toni is a funny one, John. My husband and I are the friends she is talking about--I too have a P90X blog entry--
    in case you're interested. It is such a tough program, but very, very effective. Is your wife doing it with you? I do strongly share your final sentiments...good luck with it all!

  11. P90X is hardcore. I'd rather run a marathon.

  12. It is hardcore but I feel different after only 1 week. I'm loving it but holy crap, Jen you're right. So hardcore.

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