Monday, January 18, 2010

On Your Mark....Get Set.......Eat!

     Try as I might, I have never been able to make my relationship with any New Years resolution last even until February 1st.  So this year, The Boss and I have decided to have a little friendly competition that is under no circumstances to be called any sort of resolution. 

     On April 8th, we will be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary and I have to commend the woman for having the fortitude to endure living with a neanderthal like myself for an entire decade without missing a beat.

     I have never lied to you people before, so I don't intend to start now.  I know my written words make me sound like a long haired, muscular, disgustingly handsome, smut novel cover worthy specimen with incredible self confidence and charm.  And don't get me wrong, I'd love to let you continue to think of me in such a way.  But the truth is that I am carrying some extra weight around my midsection, my hair is falling off the back of my head, and I am anything but charming.  Needless to say a little self improvement is required.

     So "The Boss" and I have decided to have a weight loss contest.  If she reaches her goal weight by our anniversary, I must find a way to buy her the diamond ring pictured here.  We saw this ring on a commercial 8 or 9 years ago so I've had plenty of time to prepare, (but of course I have not.)  Here's the best part.  If I reach my goal weight by the same date, I am to receive the highly coveted Canon T1i.  This camera is amazing, it is expensive too, but I will never ever have to buy a camera again once I have this beauty in my hands.

     So the stage has been set.  The games have begun.  We started this battle about a week or two ago.  There is just one problem with the whole deal.  All either one of us has done since the starters gun went off is eat.  Damn that Santa for putting so much chocolate in my stocking.  I mean what does he care?  His fat ass is already famous and he can just get some overworked dwarf in his sweat shop to bang out a camera for him on a whim.

     We are not focused at all, but in our defense, it isn't our fault that food is so damn delicious.  Time is running out and I have a long way to go.  Today is the day that I will begin my journey to a leaner, meaner me.  As soon as I finish this cookie that my daughter just handed me.  It's chocolate chip, how could I say no?  Hey, if they made a broccoli cookie that tasted just as good I would be eating one.  Wish me luck.  


  1. Hey good luck! That's an awesome goal...especially since you've established some really great rewards!

  2. Put. the. cookie. DOWN.

    LOL if i followed that advice, my doctor would be oh so proud of me. i'm w/ you, tho - food is just so dang delicious!

    good luck, john, you can do it!!! (spinach & carrots can be delicious, too...sometimes...)

  3. You can do it! We need to see the lovely pics you'll be taking with that great camera.

  4. So, is the kid on Mommy's side! I'm rooting for Mommy, too cuz men tend to lose weight easier. At least, that's the way it happens in my house! Forget the weight and both of you get your prizes for your that's a WIN WIN, all's fair solution and everybody's happy.

  5. If you win, I'm not going for that Canon T1i being your last camera. Uh huh, right...

  6. Wow.
    Both of those prizes are fab! This contest may, towards the end, turn into something like on a reality TV show! Sabatoges in the kitchen, "Oh THOSE cookies? Ijust FELT like baking!" Rewiring of the bathroom scale.

    This is going to be good.
    Let me get some popcorn and get settled in.

  7. I hope you win because that camera is also on my wishlist. You should have it, you deserve it, now get that damn cookie out of your mouth!

  8. Cookie is gone and I am starting P90X tomorrow. It's going to kick my ass from what I am told but I'm looking forward to it.