Because I have signed a contract stating that I would not speak about my place of business in public, I wont tell you what company I work for, but I will give you a snapshot of what a day in the life of a sales manager for a huge retailer is like.
Let me preface this recap by telling you that I have two young daughters, so as you can imagine, the day starts pretty early around here.
Oh, I guess I should also mention, before I begin, that in order to survive in the fast paced world of big business, you must be able to weed out the worthless information and only process what is crucial to the needs of the business. All the while keeping a positive attitude and your stage presence at its peak. Afterall, 'Tis the season. So, without further ado, I give you, "My Process" with a holiday twist.
" Hey, can I get a discount on this? Did you check your email even though you just walked in 2 seconds ago? Hey John, I need a break. I know you have it, I buy it here all the time! (You're right, I've only worked here 11 fucking years. Of course you know my inventory better than I do.) I need your signature on this. John, I need a break. Can you help me with this? I need you to train all of your employees on this immediately, even though it is the day before Thanksgiving and we are getting our asses handed to us. Did you get those reviews done? I need you to cut your payroll even though you lost two of your high dollar employees this week. I know you just got here but how did you not miraculously know that I have asked for this to get done three times this morning? Hey John, I need a break. I'm sorry I was 45 minutes late. You guys usually call me when I'm late. (This one actually made me laugh, but only after the guy walked away.) Is this the complaint department? Just make it happen. Come see me in the office when you have a minute. (Shit! Now I need a break. I think I will go take my break since I've been here for 4 hours.) John, I need to go on my lunch. John, you have a phone call on line 1....and line 2. Do you work here? (No dumbass, I am wearing this name tag because I am the president of this company's fan club and I come in here to fix other people's fuckups just for the sport of it.) John, I need my last break."
This is a day in the life. It is a lot like juggling cats, I would imagine anyway. This is how it goes almost every day. This job is not for the squeemish or weak at heart. This job is never easy, and for some masochistic reason, we come back for more every day. We thrive on the adrenaline rush. We live for the challenge. We will be back on Friday to do it all over again. Until then, I'm taking my break.