What The Hell Am I Doing Here?

     After a long day of trying to make unrealistic corporate dreams come true, I found myself without a topic worth writing about, nor the energy with which to even try to come up with something.

     Then it came to me, not like an epiphany but more in the form of an email from an old friend.  An old friend who is a writer, a real writer with a real writing job and a real writing husband who also has a real writing job.  Anyway, in this email she says that she loves this little blog of mine and at that moment, I thought to myself, or maybe I said it out loud, either way it doesn't matter, "What the Hell am I doing here?"

     I started this blog not ever thinking that anyone would read it even once let alone follow it or comment on whatever rubbish happens to spray out of my head on any given day.  I'll be honest, I did do a little self promoting on FB and by way of a little word of mouth, but even then the thought of people actually reading this never really occurred to me.  Call it stage fright or lack of confidence in my skills.  My wife is the same way.  She is an artist, a good one too, who doesn't like her own work or think that it is as good as it really is.  Is that normal?  Besides, what's the big deal?  I'm not selling a product here.  I didn't serve you a heaping plate of nachos with a long hair in it or anything.  It's just a blog, chill out fat boy!

     In a way it feels like a secret is exposed.  Not a huge life altering, Michael Vick dog fighting ring, Heidi Fleiss prostitution ring, Monica Lewinski Oval Office kind of secret. No, this is more of an I like to stack 8 or 9 cookies with a glass of milk and mow them down when no one else is looking, pick that flake at the edge of my nostril when I think I am  out of the view of other motorists, wear these jeans twice without washing them kind of secret.

     I LIKE TO WRITE!  I LIKE IT A LOT! I MAY OR MAY NOT BE ANY GOOD AT IT BUT I AM GOING TO CONTINUE TO WRITE UNTIL I NO LONGER WANT TO WRITE!  That my friends, was liberating.

     Listen, I'm not sure why you people have decided to read this blog but I do know that I am glad you are here.  So far it's been a lot of fun and I hope at the very least we can all have a few laughs and share some stories.

     For a guy who wasn't sure what the heck was going to happen when I sat in front of the keyboard tonight, I sure did spill a lot of ink didn't I?